Appealing to the Younger Side of You

Did you know that you have a younger side and an older side?

Your younger side tends to be more playful and curious, your older side more serious and introspective.

Actually, I just made that up. Don’t believe it for a minute! I'm highlighting how easily we can slip into positive 'young' stereotypes and comparatively negative ‘old’ stereotypes in our American culture. We view ‘young’ as more fresh and alive and ‘old’ as being less fun and more isolated.

Truth is, you have a right and left side of your brain, and they are precisely your age. Neither side is younger or older, and both sides of you can be very engaging!

On the other side of the Pacific, Eastern cultures might characterize your younger side as “immature and impulsive”, while the older side of you “oozes with wisdom and is worthy of honor.” 

So, to experience the best of both worlds, we could recommend that you spend your childhood in America and eventually retire in Asia. :)

Without switching residences, though, we think it’s possible to experience the best of both worlds.

Look for the best in those younger than you

Appreciate their youthful spontaneity and curiosity. Try emulating what you love about them, no matter what your age. As you grow older, don’t let go of these positive qualities. With God at work in you, you are young enough to be fresh and stay fresh.

In the New Testament (Titus 2) Paul told Titus to teach older men to live lives (in the present) that are worthy of respect.  As we get older, we may think our advancing age alone is deserving of carte blanche respect, but God wants us to give people more ammunition than simply our longevity.  

Young Titus was also asked to teach older women not to slander. As we get older, we must resist the temptation to slander others. Slander is not an entitlement of older age. We must learn to hold our tongue. (Yes, Virginia, there is a slander clause!)

Look for the best in those older than you

Appreciate their life experiences and lessons learned from their living on this planet for years or decades longer than you. You will grow wiser as you appreciate their stories and perspective. You are old enough to be wise.

For those of you well under fifty, don't sell yourself short by thinking your influence is limited to your peer group and younger. You, like the younger Titus, can have a HUGE impact in the lives of those older than you. Watch the countenance of older adults light up when you go out of your way to connect with them---valuing them just like you hopefully want them to value you.

We’re convinced that God loves every generation deeply. And the more we practice doing the same, the more we reflect His character. 

The Castaways

Young Enough to Serve or Old Enough to Sever?

Pastors and churches have a right and responsibility to shut down Herb & Mabel Castaway’s eight-track tape ministry that is no longer reaching anyone.
 
But where do Herb & Mabel go from here? This depends largely on their level of spiritual maturity and also on how attentive their pastors and leaders are to their continuing need for usefulness in God’s kingdom.
 
We have witnessed Herb & Mabel, with superglue on their baton, fighting until their last breath to hang on to their now antiquated ministry that God birthed in their hearts back in the seventies. They may have already left your church, hurt and angry, taking their eight-tracks and tithe dollars with them. And, except for their tithes, you’re more than happy to let them go---to a less progressive and dying church down the street. Or we might find them sitting at home watching another church on their big box TV (the one with the rabbit-ears antenna).
 
We have also seen some Herbs & Mabels reluctantly accept their own obsolescence and conclude that their days of serving the Lord are basically over. They remain part of your church but feel deflated and useless as your church’s senior adult bus whisks them off to see the lilac fields in bloom.
 
Herb & Mabel are part of the tech-less minority. We support missionaries passionate about reaching out to poor and forgotten folks like them across the globe, but we tend to ignore, blame and marginalize them here at home. They should have changed with the times!  Yes, that’s true, but they didn’t---even under your brilliant teaching and leadership. Now faithful missionary supporters Herb & Mabel find themselves in the fraternity of a hidden people group here in America---not unreached but invisible and expendable.
 
Maybe there’s a better way. Can we help Herb & Mabel shift gears and make disciples? Can we think creatively about their potential to reach out to others, including people like themselves still living sans 21stcentury technology? You know, people on the fringes---the neglected ones Jesus chose to hang out with and surprise with His love.
 
Equip them with basic toolkits to personally visit and share your weekly podcasts with shut-ins in your community who have no computers. Have them serve as class grandparents at your Christian school or kids’ church, and be sure they include a colorful lesson using ancient eight-track technology. (Throw in phonographs, reel-to-reel and cassette decks---and they’ve got a ready-made four-week series that will fascinate the kids!) Do some reverse mentoring, where youth in your church help Herb & Mabel with some basic computer skills.
 
Stay cutting edge but don’t leave Herb & Mabel on the cutting floor, feeling edgy and edged out. Their eight tracks are perishable commodities, but they are imperishable.
 
The head cannot not say to the foot, “I have no need of you.”
 
Of course not! You’re their leader, and you’re not going to let that happen!

Other Resources

Visit Ageless Faith on the YES! resources page for a two-part podcast pertaining to this article; 051 AND 052.

There's Gold in Them Thar Culls

Do you know what culls are? Do you know how valuable they can become?

While serving with a YES! team at Gleanings for the Hungry in Dinuba, California earlier this year, I had the privilege of connecting with local farmer Gordon Wiebe to glean from his inside perspective of the summer gleaning operation.

In Gleanings’ winter season we package dried soup mix, which is not technically a gleaning process. But as Gordon described summer and peaches, I couldn’t help but visualize winter and the older adults who come to serve during this season.

He shared that most of the fruit comes into Gleanings from packing houses, not directly from fields.

The fruit is bruised, scarred, blemished, hail damaged, in odd shapes and sizes, overly ripe, or with split pits—but not spoiled.

CULLS

People outside the farming community frequently use the word ‘seconds’ to describe this fruit, but farmers refer to them as CULLS.

Something culled is picked out and set aside. Culls are not inherently inferior or less nutritious on the inside. But packing houses won’t send them to market because of their size, blemishes, or stage of ripeness and because people shop with their eyes.

Gordon went on to say that our eyes often fool us. The best-looking, marketable fruit may or may not be the best tasting or most nutritious.

Gleanings is all about giving fruit a second chance, and summer volunteers can attest there is quite a production redeeming the peaches, eventually sent out as dried fruit.

Because of what happens to the fruit at Gleanings, it lasts longer, travels much farther, and helps meet deeper needs both physically and spiritually than shelf-ready fruit. (The exported food is always tied to proclamation of the Gospel. And in the end, food from Gleanings is consumed by hungry people who appreciate it more than we can imagine.)

When a shipment of very mature, overripe peaches arrives, Gleanings makes sure the volunteers and conveyor belts shift into high gear. If this fruit sits idle, it will quickly become mushy and unusable for the purposes intended.

HOPE FOR THE OVERLY RIPE

What wonderful parallels to our YES! team and other ‘overly ripe’ individuals serving with us. Our colorful crate of culls---up to 86 years ripe, some with canes, limited sight, special needs, physical challenges, and even split in-the-pit relationships---prepared two million servings of soup for shipment and made thirty quilts in the four and a half days we served!

In these later years of life, we do at times get set apart because we’re not shelf-ready in the eyes of consumers.

For a moment I am tempted to mutter, “Those stupid consumers who shop with their eyes!”---but then I catch myself, knowing that I’m often in that swarm of shallow shoppers.

I'm convinced that we're often too quick to slap on the 'ageism' label. Could it just be a reality of the aging process, a season when God is eager to redirect our path? Is He wanting to open our eyes to value not immediately recognized by American consumers? Value that we ourselves might have skipped over in earlier years?

The labels of 'old', 'senior', and 'elderly' do not in themselves constitute ageism—in fact, many cultures certify these crates with special seals of honor, lush with value and respect. The trouble comes when we make the wrong assumptions about these 'Son-kissed' brands. We can waste energy meticulously trying to peel labels off the skin of these succulent peaches—or we can embrace what's inside for all they're worth!

Our challenge is helping seasoned adults and leaders understand that we’ve been set aside for greater purpose, not uselessness. And we must be willing to subject ourselves to the sometimes painful pruning process—renewing our minds so that our full spiritual-fruitfulness potential can be gleaned. As this city kid learned from Farmer Gordon and Gleanings, there is a world of difference between 'CULL' and 'NULL'!

Our scrappy YES! Young Enough to Serve team from a dozen different churches returned to our dozen different packing houses with a renewed sense of our current value in God's economy and of our continuing, far-reaching potential—in spite of hail damage we've experienced along the way! And we pray this renewed spiritual vision multiplies, as we probe beneath the surface and recognize previously undiscovered potential in others.

We are not ‘seconds.’ We are culls. Culled by God for a greater purpose.

Jesus knows rejection. He knows overlooked value. And He knows how to inject culls with renewed value and purpose. Thanks for CULL-laborating with us toward fruitfulness!

Throwing Grandma & Grandpa Under the Church Bus

How far do you pull away from an old friend?

In pursuit of election to political office, politicians sometimes need to distance themselves from former allies who could potentially steer their campaigns off course.

After a candidate’s customary re-posturing statement, media pundits love to measure and debate the distance of the distancing. He or she didn’t go far enough, went too far, or got it just right.

Bus metaphors are plentiful in this distancing dialog. On the polite end of distancing etiquette, moving symbolically to another seat on the same bus doesn't quell the public outcry. At the other extreme, throwing a former friend under the proverbial bus represents the ultimate in distancing jargon---but also the ultimate betrayal.

A Visit to Your Neighborhood 

Let’s quickly drive the bus away from the tired streets of politics to seemingly calmer neighborhoods where multiple generations from your church family reside.

In many families within your church, a very real and active faith in Christ has been passed down from generation to generation. Ask younger members of your church about persons of greatest spiritual influence, and chances are good that many will place a grandparent first on that list.

To be fair, others from both inside and outside your church share in the impact, but grandkids will still often point to their grandparents as having the most significant impact on their spiritual journey.

So how’s the bus ride for those in your church on the second half of their trip?

How’s church life for these graying sojourners who carry a biblical mandate to give testimony of God’s power, wonder, and faithfulness to the next generations?

As you look at these saints who often have top-seed influence rankings in their families . . .

• Does your church family recognize and celebrate the current value of these elder travelers?
• Or do your older adults feel they’re always being forced to take a back seat?
• How’s your MPG, Miles Per Generation?
• Are you secretly praying for Tom Brokaw to personally adopt the group he hailed as the Greatest Generation?
• Are you convinced this traveling band of hymn-lovers is conspiring to throw your church into reverse gear?
• Have you thrown them off the bus or, heaven forbid, under the bus? 

In a recent review of over 800 posted church leader positions on churchstaffing.com, just one position was listed that specifically targeted the second half or older adult population. And that lone position was unfunded, requiring the candidate raise his or her own support!

In an era when the Baby Boomer fleet has already pulled into your community in record numbers, this detour away from opportunity is surprising to those already working with this strategic fifty-plus population.

Churches invest readily and heavily in energetic children’s/youth pastors and programs because they are ministering to our future.

Forward-thinking church leaders rightfully see potential for positive ripple effects. Get these spiritually ripe kids involved, impact them for a lifetime, and hopefully influence their parents and friends to be an active part of your church family as well. 

And let’s face it…kids will not sprint to catch your bus if only older adults are onboard!

But in what direction is your bus moving to reach all generations?

The youth in Asia show incredible respect and care for the eldest among them. In contrast, many youth in America display attitudes of indifference toward the elderly and support euthanasia.

Not only do Eastern cultures read from right to left, their generational perspective appears to be flipped 180 degrees. Most churches in the Western world appear to think strategically from youngest to oldest. Eastern cultures think oldest to youngest.

Scriptural teaching on discipleship suggests it’s our Western church culture that is directionally challenged. Unfortunately, churches with tunnel vision for the young will often stop far short of reaching and equipping every generation.

With strong pastoral leadership, the bus going from Elder Park to Youngstown is better equipped for long-distance travel, more likely to reach its destination than the reverse route. While seeming to move more quickly at first, the Youngstown to Elder Park bus tends to break down when facing uphill challenges, never quite making it to Elder Park.

Let’s view this topic briefly from a higher plane; say from an Airbus at a cruising altitude of 30,000 feet:

"In case of sudden loss of cabin pressure, please apply your mask first before helping your younger children."

Does this mean that the children on the Airbus are less important? No, it simply means that all of you will have a better chance of survival if you move sequentially from older to younger.

Be intentional about ministry through these midlife and older stalwarts of faith, and make sure their vision extends intergenerationally all the way to the nursery.

By keeping the right sequence, we avoid either/or scenarios. Whenever possible, it should be both/and. We don’t have to neglect or marginalize the older to reach the younger! We need the balance of elder wisdom and experience combined with youthful energy and innovation.

A church bus with multiple generations represents a more complete cross-section of the body of Christ. Those traveling on it have opportunity for an enriching, cross-cultural experience, as long as they make room for relationships outside their peer group.

No matter which direction your bus is heading, tough uphill challenges will surface. You will at times face an overheated engine and overheated passengers. Open your windows on both sides of the age spectrum and allow for a healthy cross breeze of the Spirit. Prop them wide open and make sure every generation is on your bus and is breathing fresh air. Gain some downhill momentum for those uphill climbs.

It shouldn’t take a Bible scholar to convince us that throwing grandparents under the church bus is not part of God’s plan.

But what about our changing culture and the need to create new buses for different kinds of patrons?

In these changing times, it’s not just the young needing to catch a vision for a new church bus or an overhaul of your old one. Older generations need new buses to replace worn-out, unbiblical attitudes toward retirement, ageism, and age segregation. They need to dream with you about completely new types of vehicles to help your church fulfill the Great Commission by reaching younger generations and other cultures.

Here are some tokens of advice as you shop for a new bus or overhaul your existing one:

• Keep Grandma and Grandpa on the bus and involve them in the change process. Quoting I.W. Lynett, “The best way to cope with change is to help create it."  Don’t assume that older generations are universally resistant to change. They have experienced and adapted to incredible changes throughout their lifetime. Welcome their input. If changes are biblically sound and God-directed, patiently cultivate and expect their support. Read Gordon MacDonald’s Who Stole My Church? for wonderful perspective on engaging your older generations in the change process.

• If your church has retreated from venues where intergenerational influence used to occur---Sunday school, Sunday night services, prayer times at an altar and midweek children’s programs---be sure you have created new venues that encourage strong intergenerational connections on a spiritual level. Teach your kids to respect, cherish, and learn from these older friends. Teach them the value of engaging in conversation with peers of their grandparents and great-grandparents. Create prayer partnerships. Have your young people help capture their spiritual legacy on video or through creative writing.

• Equip your older adults with fresh tools to help them communicate more frequently with their grandchildren. Teach them computer skills, email, text messaging, Facebook and even Web 2.0. Twitter? Well, let's not go too far!

• Invest in second half or senior adult leaders who have the energy and drive to move your adults to new paradigms of ministry. Don’t perpetuate social clubs or fun, food, and fellowship paradigms that fail to capitalize on their broader potential for outreach. Balance your budget. Investing fifty times more on children and youth than on second half adults is not a balanced budget.

• At your next board meeting, move the needs and potential of this fastest growing segment of our nation’s population to the front of your agenda. Talk about access for physically challenged adults, not just to “the service” but to valuable opportunities for serving and intergenerational influence.

• Stop endorsing methods that drop older generations off the church bus prematurely.

• Create new bus stops for both the old and young in your community to get on board. When you think about attracting new riders, resist the tendency to think only of young riders.

• Start thinking strategically from oldest-to-youngest rather than youngest-to-oldest. Change your vocabulary. Make sure no generation is left behind! 

We know it’s not about distancing ourselves, fighting over who deserves the best seats on the bus, or deciding which generation we can throw under the church bus. It’s about all of us drawing closer to God, one another, and the destinations He has mapped out for us.

Don’t do it just because millions of Boomers are entering their retirement years or because it’s your fast track to church growth.

Do it because it’s the right thing to do. Do it because God calls you to value every age group in your church, from the oldest to the youngest.

Do it because you really do love and value Grandma and Grandpa, their great-grandkids, and everyone in between.