War Room: Finishing Well Starts with Prayer

You’ve probably seen the Geico commercial, pointing out that Pinocchio was a bad motivational speaker. His nose grows as he points to a lackluster gentleman in the audience and declares, “You have potential.”

When we talk about the untapped serving potential of older adults, we know some folks probably expect our noses to start growing as we speak.

We recognize the reality that most adults will face significant physical challenges as they grow older, and practically many serving “projects” grow out of reach.

But we also know spiritual strength can gush like a geyser in older hearts conspiring with God.

The recently released movie, War Room, is a powerful portrayal of the serving potential of an older adult with a heart for prayer and making disciples. We highly recommend it as a poignant YES! Young Enough to Serve illustration---a compelling reminder of the very real impact older, praying adults can have.

We love the idea of investing to help finish wells in third world countries. And we're also grateful for those strategically investing in YES! and other second-half adult ministries in America---seeing the need to dig deeper here at home, tapping into older adults finishing well!

There is a significant spiritual drought in our nation that can be addressed in part by elder adults becoming more intentional in praying and reaching out to younger generations. We love how this potential is boldly proclaimed in War Room and in this prayer from Psalm 71:18 (NLT): 

“Now that I am old and gray, do not abandon me, O God.
Let me proclaim your power to this new generation,
your mighty miracles to all who come after me.”

Please pray that more pastors, churches and Christian leaders will embrace this old and gray potential more deliberately. The potential is very real but must become a greater part of churches’ strategies to reach younger generations.

And it must become a greater part of our own lives, as we boldly surrender ourselves more fully to the Master.

We confess that we've been guilty at times of moving prayer outside its rightful first position:

"When all else fails, pray." 
"If you're not in a position physically to serve or financially to give, you can always pray." 

These have an element of truth, but they treat prayer as our last resort, not our first.

With prayer and financial support coming from those in nearly every decade of life, we're getting more opportunities to spread the mission of YES! throughout America---and gratefully, our noses aren’t growing! :)  

Thank you for standing with us and making a spiritual difference in the lives of those around you.

With help from all generations
YES! inspires adults over fifty
to become more intentional
in praying, serving and making disciples.

Tip-a-Canoe and Titus 2

Although our kids might think otherwise, we weren’t around in 1840 when William Harrison of the Whig party became our ninth president. He was catapulted into office by a sagging economy and by a catchy campaign song, Tippecanoe and Tyler Too. 

Tippecanoe is a river in Indiana, the site of Harrison’s military victory over the Shawnee Indians in 1811. John Tyler, in his early fifties, was Harrison’s running mate—the younger candidate in the campaign jingle.

Harrison, our oldest elected president until Reagan, died at age 68 on just his 32nd day in office—not our finest example of being young enough to serve! He was better known for his presidential campaign rather than accomplishments in his shortest-ever, truncated term of office.

For campaign naysayers who had argued that Harrison was too old to serve, his early demise left them feeling quite prophetic.

Life expectancy then hovered around 40 years---so in reality 68 was pretty old. Average life span in America has since doubled.

While Harrison succumbed to pneumonia complications (and didn't necessarily die of old age), his death still points to the wisdom of intergenerational pairing in leadership. With the younger Tyler ready to step in, the Whig party's influence in the office of the President stayed afloat. Tippecanoe tipped, and the younger Tyler took the helm as our tenth president.

Leaving this short history lesson from a couple centuries ago, let’s paddle our canoes back a couple millennia. The new lyrics may seem a bit over-the-edge, but you’ll soon catch our drift as we venture on with ‘Tip-a-Canoe and Titus 2.’

Is Your Canoe Tipping?

Tipped canoes? We see a lot of churches with lopsided congregations, favoring an older or younger demographic. Turns out, the word “lopsided” is actually a nautical term, describing a tilt to one side. It favors one side and droops (like the ear of a lop eared rabbit) accordingly on that same side.

Wait! Is there anything inherently wrong with lopsidedness? As long as people are getting saved and nurtured in their faith, shouldn't generationally lopsided churches be celebrated? So what's the big deal if our canoes tip dramatically to the side of a particular age group? 'Whatever floats your boat', right?

(Before insisting I'm all wet, let's acknowledge that there are some strong, generationally lopsided churches reflecting the demographics of their communities. Intergenerational ministry may not always be practical, just as an intercultural mix is difficult to achieve in mono-ethnic communities.)

Sustainability is the most commonly mentioned concern for older congregations. Will the church still be around in ten to twenty years, or will the church simply dissolve as the elderly die off?

And on the younger side of the age wave, what's ahead for young adults when they begin celebrating birthdays beyond their church's targeted youthful demographic? Do they simply follow a new current to another church that targets a slightly older age group?

While sustainability is certainly a concern going forward, we're missing the boat if we think primary dangers lurk only years downstream. Truth is, the water can get pretty murky right now in our peer-only ponds.

Missing out on generation-to-generation dynamics (in both directions) should be a great concern for all of us. "I have no need for generations apart from my own" conflicts with how God designed His Church. This declaration of generational independence limits our perspective, development, outreach and joy in the present, both personally and corporately—while moving us closer to treacherous rapids for the ride ahead.

Balancing Our Boats

Although I haven’t spent much time in canoes, I did compete on the rowing team in college at Seattle Pacific. Rowing in a four- or eight-man shell is an ultimate team sport—with no superstars. In fact, standing out is not a good thing in races that demand synchronized movement and sustained power from every oarsman— first with the legs, then lower back and finally with the shoulders and arms to finish the stroke.

If a racing shell (or canoe) tilts to one side, you know instinctively something is wrong. Imbalanced vessels do not win races. And you don’t counterbalance by adding extraneous weights to the opposite side of these sleek shells. The source of the problem is usually human behavior.

In rowing, even a slight turn of the head creates imbalance. Heads and torsos must stay centered, with eyes fixed straight ahead, attentive to the commands of the coxswain. As the smaller framed leader without an oar, the coxswain is the only one facing in the direction the racing shell is headed. Guiding with a very loud and commanding voice, he or she keeps the team in rhythm and on course.  

Timing is critical. An oar submerged for an extra split-second can cause a disruptive event known as “catching a crab.” The oar blade gets stuck in the water, while the handle of the oar smacks the oarsman in the sternum. The racing shell quickly tips to the side of the submerged oar and embarrassingly sputters to a crawl, while teammates mutter unmentionable words in disgust.

In an instant, the prospects of winning that race all but disappear.

Titus 2

So, both Tippecanoe and tipped canoes demonstrate a clear need for balance, but who asked young Titus to come aboard?

Empowering Titus with coxswain-like authority, the Apostle Paul lays out a compelling racing strategy in Titus Chapter 2. His counter-intuitive, God-ordained plan offers balance. It helped avert generational lopsidedness in the Early Church, and we think this plan still has merit today. 

Paul the elder asks 
Titus the younger
to teach the older
—so that they can influence the younger.

With the rhythm of this back-and-forth, older-younger/younger-older leadership paradigm, no single generation dominates the boat from bow to stern, or from port to starboard. It’s truly a team effort, with everyone pulling together.

Notice the breadth of Paul’s language in Titus 2: WHOLESOME teaching, honoring God in EVERYTHING you do, bringing salvation to ALL people, TOTALLY committed to doing good deeds.

We easily recognize Paul's coaching toward wholehearted commitment. What we Americans seem to gloss over, though, is the intentional inclusion and interaction of each generation with other generations. Each generational part is engaged with the whole—with clear understanding that body parts are not meant to be whole by themselves!

Every generation has strategic value beyond its own generation. In mainstream American church contexts, we often emphasize wholesome and wholehearted love within generations but less commonly between them.

Titus 2 encourages us to strive for wholesome living within a wholesome church paradigm in which every generation impacts other generations. The older become role models for the young, and the younger Titus is instructed to offer both encouragement and spiritual challenge to the older, including admonitions to correct older adult behavior.

Staying in the Race

For several years in his twenties, one of our sons attended a young and vibrant church focused on Twenty Somethings. As he began to approach thirty, though, he started feeling a bit in the margins and out of sync.

Fortunately, church leaders began to recognize the shortsightedness of their over-emphasis on a singular age target—especially with a void of seasoned mentors. Wisely, they have since made a deliberate shift toward an intentionally intergenerational approach.

As we propel through life's seasons, many of our personal identities won't change (e.g. birthdate, birthplace, ethnicity, gender), but our age number, attaching like a barnacle to the side of our boat, keeps getting bigger until the day we die.

Church hopping/shopping every couple decades makes sense if we are called to be independent, self-centered, consumer-driven adults, looking for the perfect environment for each stage of life. In many ways our market-segmented culture can lead us down this tributary, but it conflicts with God's bigger picture and better plan.

As we grow older, we can't allow younger generations to become invisible to us, nor do we want to become irrelevant or invisible to younger generations. We all share an innate need to be valued and to glean from others—at every age and stage of life.

In spite of our generational differences, we're all in the same boat and benefit by winning this long race as a cohesive team. Let's move beyond the tipped canoes of generational favoritism or isolation, synchronizing our oars with the broader Christ-centered reach found in Titus 2.

“When we all pull together, how happy we’ll be! ”

We sang that song as kids—now let's practice it as adults!

Be a steady oar in your church, with your eyes fixed on Jesus—pulling not just for your side of the boat but for the whole team.

Let's row, row, row our boat together---courageously down the stream.

We Have Met the Enemy, and He is All Three of Us!

Have you ever noticed how quick we are to point out the faults of others, and how slow to admit our share of the blame for what's wrong in today's culture?

Take traffic for example. We readily complain about traffic when caught in a traffic jam. Do we realize that we are the traffic everyone else is complaining about?

And, it has become way too predictable on Capitol Hill. Republicans rant about Democrats, and Democrats rant about Republicans. The blame always seems to rest outside of ourselves.

My father-in-law, Don Popineau, was a residential house painter and an active deacon in his church before becoming an ordained minister in his early fifties. He jokingly told a group of pastors, "I've only been a pastor for three weeks, and already I hate deacons!"

Okay, so where are we headed with this conversation?

Approaching the end of our seventh year with YES! Young Enough to Serve, we've heard our share of rants about tech-tethered teens, not-so-sacred worship, theatre-like sanctuaries, and even about hipster pastors dressed in jeans, seemingly siding with the young while snubbing the old.

But let's take our punching gloves off for a moment and yank at the plank in our own eyes. Hitting the pause button on our rants, let's assume (or pretend) that WE in life's second half are our own worst enemy . . . all three of us: Me, myself, and I.

It's hard and out-of-character, I know, but we can do this!

“How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?”

— Matthew 7:4

Enemy #1: ME-Mastered Retirement

We live in a nation that nourishes an entitlement perspective regarding vocational retirement---usually in our sixties, followed optionally by a life of leisure. Some ask, "Is retirement even biblical?"

Well, retirement shows up in just one verse, Numbers 8:25, where the Levites had to retire at age fifty. (Whew! . . . a big sigh of relief from those of you who are vocationally retired!) 

While vocational retirement is not taboo in Scripture, it gets very little press.

What is not supported biblically is spiritual retirement, freedom that becomes lazy or self-absorbed, or personal identity grounded in retirement. Not a single verse or chapter support that kind of retirement!

renewing purpose

Let's face it, retirement sounds a bit tired, and it's a lonely word in Scripture. Pop the word 'renew' in your Bible search engine, and you'll find it's much more popular and life-breathing!

We're called to liberty and renewal. Through love we get to serve one another---often even more when the eight-to-five grind ends.

Enemy #2: MYSELF-Mirrored Segregation

This enemy highlights how generationally isolated we've allowed older adults to become in our culture---and sometimes even more so in our churches.

Year-after-year we grow comfortable peer-to-peer, but too often miss out on relationships from generation-to-generation.

We're disturbed by the cocoon or silo approach we find ourselves in, often a picture of only older adults caring about older adults. Are we going to settle for being an amputated body part? (We can't change what we're resigned to tolerate.)

From Paul's teaching in 1 Corinthians 12, the whole body needs to show concern for each part, and each part needs to show concern for the whole body. The head cannot say to the foot, "I have no need of you."

Paradigms need to shift to re-align with Scripture. It's not just about becoming more culturally relevant, attractive and creative. These are byproducts of love flowing in a healthy way from generation to generation (in both directions!). The Bible makes it clear that God wants more than each generation fending for themselves.

Specialized life stage ministries have value, but peer-only approaches leave us with huge generational gaps, nonstick faith as students graduate from high school, and Teflon-coated church attendance as parents become empty nesters.

energizing hearts

We can move some hearts and change some lives peer-to-peer. But to really change a paradigm, we need reinforcements from outside that paradigm: younger generations, saints cheering us on from heaven, and, of course, the Holy Spirit.

We handicap ourselves when we ignore the help of younger, more energetic hearts and minds, along with wisdom from the great cloud of witnesses who have gone on before us. Included in that cloud are poignant examples of the older Paul collaborating with the younger Timothy and Titus.

Helping churches build leadership teams with a broader age swath is a good starting point to combat enemy #2. YES! would love to help you broaden your team.

Enemy #3: I-Centered Salvation

Salvation from sin and the personal promise of eternal life are incredible. You and I as individuals are valued tremendously by God. The Father sent His only Son to redeem us.

But this wonderful redemption plan wasn't intended to stop with just us. We've been redeemed so that we might reach others.

Most American Christians admit to passing up the multiplication tables, opting for a quieter, noncontagious faith. For older, mature Christians who have experienced God's faithfulness over a lifetime, what a travesty when our light is hidden!

redeeming lives

If we're well grounded but not making disciples, what can we do?

One approach is conveniently convincing ourselves that evangelism and disciple-making are outside our wheelhouse of giftedness.

Another ill-advised approach involves beating ourselves up to the point where we add discouragement, guilt and timidity to our ineffectiveness.

The better approach is confessing our sin and asking God to help us become bolder and more deliberate in helping others in their faith journey. Then we look for situations where we can connect with those who are:

• without faith,
• new or weak in their faith,
• or lost in a faith without Christ.

Jesus needed to be around people like this in His life here on earth. We need these people in our lives too.

Candles lit only in bright sunlight make little sense. You are still young enough and bright enough to light up a dark room!

Me, Myself and I

So there you have it. Three temptations 'me, myself and I' might encounter in life's second half: becoming too retired, segregated or noncontagious.

A year ago most of us were blissfully unaware of Ebola and ISIS. They have since become familiar, formidable foes. Apart from praying, though, most of us will at best offer indirect help to those combatting these horrific enemies directly.

But with God on our side we can wage war directly with 'me, myself and I'. We know this enemy inside and out. And this too is a battle we must win!

“Lord, please penetrate our hearts and help us take the steps we need to move beyond ourselves—-so that our lives and the lives of others will be made whole. Amen.”

How Did It Get So Late So Soon?

You gotta love Dr. Seuss!

Some of you enjoyed having others read his books to you as children, then later reading his stories to your kids, grandkids and perhaps even great grandkids.

As more days, months and years pass, we’re pinching ourselves, "Can we really be this old already?"

So we may agree it's late, and late came faster than most of us expected.

The next question, "What are we going to do about it?"

We see a couple extremes in prevailing attitudes.

1. "It's late. Turn out the lights. The party is over."

2. "It's late. Turn up the lights. My remaining time is precious. Let's not waste these moments. God still has a powerful purpose for me in the twilight."

Usually there's quite a bit of good livin' between 'it's late' and 'you're done.' Sometimes we have to plow through major obstacles to remain purposeful. Things around us are changing rapidly, bodies are wearing down, and older adults can often start feeling abandoned.

It's easy to see why and how some people quit before the finish line, but God wants us to press on and give Him our best to the very end.

What Will You Build?

We love Psalm 71:18 (NLT):

“Now that I am old and gray, do not abandon me, O God. Let me proclaim your power to this new generation, your mighty miracles to all who come after me.”

The first half of the verse introduces life’s second half challenges. And the verse’s second half highlights purposeful, God-honoring interaction with younger, first-half generations as a key to the psalmist’s salvation.

We face an important choice. Build a generational wall and live out the old and gray years with the fear of abandonment. Or build a bridge that proclaims God’s glory to younger generations.

The psalmist had to push through some challenges - feeling old, gray, and abandoned - to get to his 'so late so soon' purpose.

Some of your 'new generation' purpose may sit across from you at the dinner table as grandkids or other young friends come to visit. Some might be in the lobby of your church or serve you across the counter at your bank, grocery store or restaurant. And some you may never know this side of heaven.

You have powerful, God-honoring life stories to share. Take time to communicate them now directly and through writing, video or audio recording---while you still have strength and clarity of thought.

Don't forget how much inspiration came into your life from those who were gone long before you arrived on the scene! (Like every Biblical writer, for instance!) 

Welcome Generation X

It’s hard to believe the last of the Baby Boomers turned 50 in December 2014! Generation X began joining the 50+ fraternity in January 2015!

Frankly, many churches with specialized ministries for adults on the plus side of fifty weren't quite ready for Boomers, and most are certainly not ready for Gen Xers. Again . . .

And, of course, fifty is not really SO late. And we don't believe there's a huge contrast between someone turning 50 in December 2014 vs. January 2015. These generational labels are our culture's attempt to make sense of generational nuances.

What we do believe is that connecting older generations with younger generations is key . . . for Gen X, Boomer and Builder generations. Let us proclaim His power to the next generations, His mighty miracles to all who come after us.

A Rapidly Aging America

America is aging and will be for the next several decades. (The 65+ population is on track to more than double between the 2010 and 2050 census, from just over 40 million to just under 90 million!)

Others can reinforce our getting stuck in the first half of Psalm 71:18 by isolating the aged and viewing aging only as a major personal and societal problem.

And we who are older also run the risk of viewing younger generations only through problematic lenses. This near-sighted myopia keeps us from moving beyond the first half of the verse---and makes us feel more and more obsolete, colorless and forgotten over time.   

But there is a better option. We can push through negative generational stereotypes and trust the Lord for fresh opportunities. Again, building a bridge to Part B:

“Proclaiming His power to this new generation, His mighty miracles to all who come after me.”

God’s awesome power has never depended on our age or physical strength. In fact, His power can become even more visible when the batteries on our aging clock run low.

It’s still early enough. And you are still young enough to make a mighty difference for Christ in the lives of others.

So late . . . so soon . . . and so many young lives yet to impact with God’s powerful love!

Appealing to the Younger Side of You

Did you know that you have a younger side and an older side?

Your younger side tends to be more playful and curious, your older side more serious and introspective.

Actually, I just made that up. Don’t believe it for a minute! I'm highlighting how easily we can slip into positive 'young' stereotypes and comparatively negative ‘old’ stereotypes in our American culture. We view ‘young’ as more fresh and alive and ‘old’ as being less fun and more isolated.

Truth is, you have a right and left side of your brain, and they are precisely your age. Neither side is younger or older, and both sides of you can be very engaging!

On the other side of the Pacific, Eastern cultures might characterize your younger side as “immature and impulsive”, while the older side of you “oozes with wisdom and is worthy of honor.” 

So, to experience the best of both worlds, we could recommend that you spend your childhood in America and eventually retire in Asia. :)

Without switching residences, though, we think it’s possible to experience the best of both worlds.

Look for the best in those younger than you

Appreciate their youthful spontaneity and curiosity. Try emulating what you love about them, no matter what your age. As you grow older, don’t let go of these positive qualities. With God at work in you, you are young enough to be fresh and stay fresh.

In the New Testament (Titus 2) Paul told Titus to teach older men to live lives (in the present) that are worthy of respect.  As we get older, we may think our advancing age alone is deserving of carte blanche respect, but God wants us to give people more ammunition than simply our longevity.  

Young Titus was also asked to teach older women not to slander. As we get older, we must resist the temptation to slander others. Slander is not an entitlement of older age. We must learn to hold our tongue. (Yes, Virginia, there is a slander clause!)

Look for the best in those older than you

Appreciate their life experiences and lessons learned from their living on this planet for years or decades longer than you. You will grow wiser as you appreciate their stories and perspective. You are old enough to be wise.

For those of you well under fifty, don't sell yourself short by thinking your influence is limited to your peer group and younger. You, like the younger Titus, can have a HUGE impact in the lives of those older than you. Watch the countenance of older adults light up when you go out of your way to connect with them---valuing them just like you hopefully want them to value you.

We’re convinced that God loves every generation deeply. And the more we practice doing the same, the more we reflect His character. 

Yonderville

Written by Mark Delaney

Mark Delaney, Children’s Pastor at Valley Assembly in Spokane Valley, Washington, has actively been involved in children's ministry leadership since 2004. His passion is to empower children and families to seek God constantly, serve Him faithfully, and share Him boldly. 

When my family and I moved to Georgia a few years ago we were quickly introduced to a town called ‘Yonderville’.

Yonderville is the wide open expanse that lies in between two “real” towns. This isn’t a town you’ll find on any map or locate with a GPS, but the locals all know right where it is. (Apparently to qualify as a real town you must have a Wal-Mart and a McDonalds.) 

My family was kindly invited to the home of a couple who lived in this uncharted town.

“Thank you, Sir and Ma’am. Where do you live?” I knew I was in for a wild ride when they began detailing local scenery. Before I could jump in, directions were in full swing.

“Well, we live 20 minutes o’er yonder. Once you get off Highway 35, go past the gas station, then over the train tracks. You’ll take a right at the blue fence and another right at the BIG oak tree next to the creek. Follow the road where the creek turns and when you see the old red tractor on the left, you’re almost there. Our house will be on the right. It’s the one with the electrical box in the yard and white rockers out on the front porch.” 

With wide-eye confusion I felt my jaw drop slightly. Didn’t these people understand I have a phone that talks to me and tells me exactly where to go?! All I needed was a simple address---not some random list of mile markers and roadside attractions. So I did what any good city person would do, I took out my smart phone and asked for their address. I was given their street number, along with their phone number thrown in for good measure.
 
A few days later I loaded my family into the car, pulled up their address in my phone and headed out. Things seemed fine until I realized we had been driving for about thirty minutes. While I didn’t recall any of their backwoods directions, I distinctly remembered being told they lived just twenty minutes away.

My phone said I was still ten minutes from my destination. It then hit me that I was lost in a land with nothing but open roads and peanut farms. (Apparently even Google doesn't understand the intricacies of visiting the town of Yonderville!)

I had their phone number but, of course, couldn't as a man bring myself to dial and ask for help.  Luckily, just ahead I spotted a porcelain gas sign just above the tree line. I pulled into the station, showed the address to the attendant inside, and asked if he knew how to get there.

That’s when I learned my second lesson about the uncharted town of Yonderville. Anyone who lives in this wide-open expanse can usually tell you how to get ANYWHERE in their far-reaching town.

Again I was given directions laden with colors, trees and buildings, but this time I took detailed notes. I got back in the car and followed directions exactly as they were given to me. Before long I saw a green electrical box and white rockers on the porch. My stubbornness and know-it-all attitude got us there late, but we successfully arrived at our destination.

The next time I was invited to a home in Yonderville I wrote down the list of vivid directions, following them word for word. (I arrived on time and only got lost once briefly when I drove past the boiled peanut stand instead of turning right.) Eventually I learned an even better method was simply to get in my car and follow behind a local who knew how to get my Yonderville destination. That was a surefire way of not getting lost.

I’ve also learned that life is full of trips to the town of “Yonderville”. . . times in life when you’re confused, a little lost and not sure which direction to take. It happens to

• High school seniors trying to make sense of what’s ahead
• Newlywed couples not quite sure how to actually “do” life together
• Parents trying to discover how to properly raise their children
• Families facing the stress of moving or losing a job
• Longer term spouses struggling to maintain their relationship now that their lives are overscheduled and full of stress

There are countless other examples, but we’ve all been in those places in life where we seem stranded. Being lost isn’t a comfortable feeling, as we try to quickly figure out how to get back on track. So we read the latest and greatest books, and we listen to seminars and sermons from tremendous speakers. We meet with others dealing with similar issues and seek advice from our peers.

These things can help, but when we’re in the Yondervilles of life, I’ve learned we need to pray and ask God to lead us to someone more seasoned who knows their way around. This is the Biblical model of discipleship that God wants us to live out. One generation speaking into the next, with each getting stronger in return. “We will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, His power and the wonders He has done.” Psalm 78:4

God has gifted most churches with seasoned veterans of the faith. They meet regularly in groups with names like “rock of agers”, “over 50’s”, and “prime timers”. Many times those younger see them as great people but just a little out of touch. They shut them off the same way I treated the person who began giving me directions that sounded like they were sending me on a Tom Sawyer adventure.

But these long-time followers of Christ have learned how to get around the countryside in life’sYonderville frustrations. They possess the ability to share how, with God’s help, you can arrive at your destination successfully. Allowing them to speak Godly advice into your life is more powerful than any new book or video.

Intergenerational ministry is a Biblical model that is far more successful than simply relying on your peer group for advice. I wouldn’t trust my phone, Google maps or another city person to provide the best directions to help me find my way around the countryside. The best way is to get in the car and follow right behind someone who has been there many times before.

I find books, videos, studies, and peer interaction to be enjoyable and highly beneficial. They serve a great purpose. However, I think we MUST empower by seeking out and finding the o’er yonder, been-there-done-that, seasoned followers of Christ.

You may have to listen more attentively, take notes and slow life down a bit, but their advice is well worth it. You’ll find some great direction from the gentleman with the gray hair. He’s sitting just behind the guy with the dark glasses in the third row from the front of the stage, ‘just o’er yonder.’

Tapping Into the Power of Intergenerational Ministry

"Intergenerational." Because it's a word that doesn't appear verbatim in Scripture, we might view it as a passing fad in American churches. 

But a closer look at Scripture shows kingdom principles, relationships, stories, legacy and disciple-making flowing freely from generation to generation, not just within generations.

Over the past year we have been privileged to partner in a significant way with the CASA Network (Christian Association Serving Adult Ministries) and the Fuller Youth Institute, champions of the Sticky Faith movement. 

Dr. Kara Powell, author of Sticky Faith and Director of the Fuller Youth Institute, has with her team highlighted key factors contributing to faith that sticks as young people transition to adulthood.  With a research grant from the Lilly Foundation, they probed deeply into why a disturbing number of young adults are walking away from their faith.

One of the primary keys to stickier faith is helping churches commit more deliberately to intergenerational ministry.  Many churches have great programs for every age group, but silo approaches have limitations when it comes to long-term impact, particularly when high school students transition to college and beyond.

Allow me to share a recent example of a church with whom we were privileged to share in meaningful, transformational impact.

A Collaborative Crossroads Convergence

Robin Garvin, a Southern California Children’s Ministries leader, put out a plea for children’s pastors to read Sticky Faith, to be followed by a discussion session at her home.  Laurie Hanks, the children’s pastor at Crossroads Church in Temecula, California, was one of the children’s pastors at that meeting. 

Laurie Hanks, Children's Pastor

Laurie returned to her church and met with other children and youth leaders at Crossroads and asked them to read Sticky Faith as well.  She also shared the book with the leadership of the Classics group, the name of their ministry for 50+ adults. 

“It was at that point Judy (Wick) gave me information regarding the CASA Network/Fuller Youth Institute’s Influence the Generations conference coming to our community,” Laurie disclosed.  The Saturday conference was hosted in January by Gateway Church of the Nazarene, and YES! Young Enough to Serve was privileged to be among the sponsors.  “Pastor Jim Grams, our Senior Associate Pastor, was then inspired to attend the conference and to get the Classics more involved.” 

I was privileged to hear ideas and passion already percolating in Pastor Jim’s heart as we met over lunch at the CASA Conference.  Judy was invited to share at Crossroads the following day, which according to Laurie “really helped seal the deal with our congregation.”

“We had talked before about intergenerational ministry and had some movement in that direction, but we never so fully put our feet to the idea.  This time, leaders from the children, youth and classics got together to plot out how it would come together.”  The women’s ministry leader also read Sticky Faith, and the men’s ministry leader is participating in a life group going through the book, chapter by chapter.

It’s now a very collaborative effort of the youth pastor, senior associate, children’s pastor, evangelism team, and men’s/women’s ministry leaders.  Their strategy is to take existing ministries and make them more intergenerational.  “We’re not just adding a layer of intergenerational events on top of our already busy schedule; we’re integrating,” Laurie explained.

Senior Adults Adopting High School Seniors

Pastor Jim capitalized on the momentum and got going right away.  Thirty members of the Classics group braved a Friday night winter storm to meet and review profiles of each high school senior thoughtfully prepared by the youth pastors, Adam and Amanda Sullivan.  While the high school seniors were not present that night, Pastors Adam and Amanda introduced the students' profiles and shared their hearts for these teens. 

Adam & Amanda Sullivan, Youth Ministers

Pastor Adam made it clear why he and Amanda believe intergenerational ministry is so vital and strategic:

 “For a long time, churches have treated teenagers like they live in their own world. They have their own music, their own service, and their own culture. The only person with a passport to go between the teenage and adult world is the youth pastor.

As youth pastors, we know that we can have a greater impact if more adults have passports to go between worlds. We want to see adults draw nearer to the younger generation and mentor them in a life with Christ.”

Fervent prayers were expressed on behalf of these soon-to-be-graduating high school seniors.  And then one by one, twelve seniors were adopted.  Some from the Classics group knew right away who they wanted to adopt, and others were joyfully selected after further deliberation. 

One ‘adopted’ young man was relatively new to the youth group, new to faith in Christ, and new to healthy Christian family involvement.  Before turning eighteen, he was an ‘emancipated adult’ who moved in with a family from Crossroads Church.  He plans to go into the military when he is older, so it was very fitting when a retired Navy veteran adopted him.  A new relationship is forming, and this retiree is now engaged, along with others, in helping to disciple this young man in his new walk with Christ.

That same weekend, members of the Classics brought gifts to the high school seniors on Sunday morning and introduced themselves to their new adoptees.  Basic instruction given to the adopters and the adoptees is to pray, communicate and simply shower each other with the love of Christ.

Jim Grams, Senior Associate Pastor

Pastor Jim shared, "It has been very exciting to watch the Classics jump at the opportunity to come alongside our high school seniors. Surely the Lord is pleased watching the 'older folks' loving on the 'youngsters'! It's just as it should be."

Some Plant, Some Water, While God Gives the Increase

Amanda (youth pastor) shared more about their recent winter camp. Their goal was to have a diversity in ages speak into the lives of the students.  So they had Adam (youth pastor), Manny Galvan (college/career pastor), Jake Evangelist (lead pastor from their Bishop campus), and Pastor Jim (senior associate) each share at the winter camp. 

Harlem Shake

Pastor Jim, the most senior among them, dove in and participated with the youth in a hilarious YouTube clip of the ‘Harlem Shake’, which instantly helped create a special bond and rapport. “Pastor Jim is everyone’s favorite part of the video. The kids are still talking about it,” Amanda shared with a smile. “And it really helped him connect with the youth later at a deeper level.  He was one of us.”

A combined talent night has now been planned for both the youth and Classics.  These used to be separate events.

A survey will be presented to the Classics so they can provide their profiles for the benefit of the children and youth pastors, identifying special expertise they can offer in children’s or youth ministry.

The women’s ministry leader is shaping one of their Bible studies to provide direct mentorship to children.

Scott Anderson, Lead Pastor

As another exciting expression of intergenerational ministry, Lead Pastor Scott Anderson asked each of his staff pastors to share a part of the Easter story, with each pastor telling a part of the story to their own age-specific ministry group. The worship leader is attempting to tailor a piece of music to every generation.  They are also talking as a staff about creating a special family service quarterly in those months with a fifth Sunday.

Pastor Scott underscored his belief that "intergenerational ministry within the framework of the local church is the exact model of a healthy church."

Crossroads’ evangelism team reached out to the nearby senior adult community of Fountain Glen and helped pave the way for new intergenerational relationships.   Kids with Purpose is a summer ministry of Crossroads where the children engage in acts of service within the surrounding community, including Fountain Glen.  Among other serving tasks, the kids help the adults create centerpieces for Fountain Glen’s summer luau, with help flowing freely in both directions between the generations. 

Because of the evangelism team’s efforts, many adults at that facility are now riding a bus to Crossroads on Sunday.  Included in this group of adults is a blind man who for obvious reasons needed more help while working together with the kids on the centerpiece projects.  He is someone the kids naturally gravitated to when he began attending Crossroads. How special and inviting for this older adult without sight to be greeted by name by children in the church!

Grandparents Day, September 8, is a major event in the planning stages.  Kids are going to be honoring senior adults, and they will be integrated into the children’s services.

Laurie is in her eleventh year as children’s pastor at Crossroads.  She has become increasingly aware of her need to connect long term with ‘kids’ formerly in her children’s church---offering encouragement as many of her students transition into adulthood. 

She has recently had a special burden for a young college freshman who God keeps bringing to her mind.  She texts him occasionally to let him know she’s praying for him.  The timing of the encouragement has been God-ordained. “You have no idea.  I was having such a hard time, and your text came at just the right time,” he told Laurie while wiping tears from his eyes.  It helped him know he was not alone.  “Knowing the Lord put me on your heart is powerful.” 

“Intergenerational momentum is now here and will be at the forefront of how we plan.  Our perspective has matured.  Our Classics group will never be the same again---after Judy’s challenge to them.”

From her perspective, Laurie shared that engagement of adults over fifty at their church was pretty typical, with many adults thoroughly committed to serving through Royal Family Kids Camp and other vital ministries.  But many 50+ church activities had defaulted to retirement stereotypes depicted in YES!’s Ted video.  And while many good things were happening, some attitudes of complacency needed to be challenged.  “It wasn’t necessarily a new revelation, but YES! helped provide a strong nudge for us to become much more intentional."

Sticky Faith Becoming Stickier

Pastor Adam is excited.  “I believe our efforts at Crossroads Church are doing more than I imagined. We are working hard to remove the barriers that develop between teenagers and adults."

"Instead of an adult visiting the teenage world, the two worlds can unite. Relationships between the age groups naturally push one another to grow closer to our Lord. And we know for the teenager that can make the difference in their faith sticking.”

Pastor Laurie shared further:

“We were able to identify many things already in place that are helping to create faith that sticks among our young people, so fortunately we weren’t starting from scratch.  It was good soil that needed to be cultivated.  And now we’re planting more seeds and watching them take root and grow.

Judy’s heart in sharing with the entire congregation the importance of loving and supporting each other as a church family had a profound impact. The people were impressed by the passion with which she shared.

Most people in our congregation would have already agreed that we need intergenerational ministry.  YES! helped us realize how important and urgent this calling is, and that now is the time to make it happen.  The YES! Young Enough to Serve message helped our Classics feel more valued and strategically vital in ministry.  It helped them know that their life experience and longevity of faith has current value to every generation.

An outsider’s perspective is so helpful---along with the fresh emphasis on relationships, the kingdom of God, and God’s call for all of us to make an impact, no matter what our age.

These are real needs that people need to grab a hold of.

Lead pastor buy-in from our Pastor Scott Anderson has been so critical.  He has always had an interest in intergenerational ministry, but we hadn’t really tooled it out in such practical ways.

We were ripe for the message, and it solidified what we needed to do.  YES! put an umbrella over it and helped everybody grip the handle of the umbrella. YES! helped our whole church connect to this passion and to become more deliberate in reaching outside our peer groups.

The seed has fallen on good soil.  It is well integrated and spreading.”

To God be the glory for allowing us to be co-laborers in healthy transformation happening in the lives of individuals, groups, churches and communities! 

-----

Wes and his wife, Judy (Popineau) Wick, are  founders and directors of YES! Young Enough to Serve. They would be honored to help your church move to a stronger, more intentional platform of serving, intergenerational ministry and disciple-making. Please connect with them.

PLEASE CLICK HERE IF YOUR CHURCH MIGHT BE READY FOR AN INTERGENERATIONAL TUNE-UP.

Throwing Grandma & Grandpa Under the Church Bus

How far do you pull away from an old friend?

In pursuit of election to political office, politicians sometimes need to distance themselves from former allies who could potentially steer their campaigns off course.

After a candidate’s customary re-posturing statement, media pundits love to measure and debate the distance of the distancing. He or she didn’t go far enough, went too far, or got it just right.

Bus metaphors are plentiful in this distancing dialog. On the polite end of distancing etiquette, moving symbolically to another seat on the same bus doesn't quell the public outcry. At the other extreme, throwing a former friend under the proverbial bus represents the ultimate in distancing jargon---but also the ultimate betrayal.

A Visit to Your Neighborhood 

Let’s quickly drive the bus away from the tired streets of politics to seemingly calmer neighborhoods where multiple generations from your church family reside.

In many families within your church, a very real and active faith in Christ has been passed down from generation to generation. Ask younger members of your church about persons of greatest spiritual influence, and chances are good that many will place a grandparent first on that list.

To be fair, others from both inside and outside your church share in the impact, but grandkids will still often point to their grandparents as having the most significant impact on their spiritual journey.

So how’s the bus ride for those in your church on the second half of their trip?

How’s church life for these graying sojourners who carry a biblical mandate to give testimony of God’s power, wonder, and faithfulness to the next generations?

As you look at these saints who often have top-seed influence rankings in their families . . .

• Does your church family recognize and celebrate the current value of these elder travelers?
• Or do your older adults feel they’re always being forced to take a back seat?
• How’s your MPG, Miles Per Generation?
• Are you secretly praying for Tom Brokaw to personally adopt the group he hailed as the Greatest Generation?
• Are you convinced this traveling band of hymn-lovers is conspiring to throw your church into reverse gear?
• Have you thrown them off the bus or, heaven forbid, under the bus? 

In a recent review of over 800 posted church leader positions on churchstaffing.com, just one position was listed that specifically targeted the second half or older adult population. And that lone position was unfunded, requiring the candidate raise his or her own support!

In an era when the Baby Boomer fleet has already pulled into your community in record numbers, this detour away from opportunity is surprising to those already working with this strategic fifty-plus population.

Churches invest readily and heavily in energetic children’s/youth pastors and programs because they are ministering to our future.

Forward-thinking church leaders rightfully see potential for positive ripple effects. Get these spiritually ripe kids involved, impact them for a lifetime, and hopefully influence their parents and friends to be an active part of your church family as well. 

And let’s face it…kids will not sprint to catch your bus if only older adults are onboard!

But in what direction is your bus moving to reach all generations?

The youth in Asia show incredible respect and care for the eldest among them. In contrast, many youth in America display attitudes of indifference toward the elderly and support euthanasia.

Not only do Eastern cultures read from right to left, their generational perspective appears to be flipped 180 degrees. Most churches in the Western world appear to think strategically from youngest to oldest. Eastern cultures think oldest to youngest.

Scriptural teaching on discipleship suggests it’s our Western church culture that is directionally challenged. Unfortunately, churches with tunnel vision for the young will often stop far short of reaching and equipping every generation.

With strong pastoral leadership, the bus going from Elder Park to Youngstown is better equipped for long-distance travel, more likely to reach its destination than the reverse route. While seeming to move more quickly at first, the Youngstown to Elder Park bus tends to break down when facing uphill challenges, never quite making it to Elder Park.

Let’s view this topic briefly from a higher plane; say from an Airbus at a cruising altitude of 30,000 feet:

"In case of sudden loss of cabin pressure, please apply your mask first before helping your younger children."

Does this mean that the children on the Airbus are less important? No, it simply means that all of you will have a better chance of survival if you move sequentially from older to younger.

Be intentional about ministry through these midlife and older stalwarts of faith, and make sure their vision extends intergenerationally all the way to the nursery.

By keeping the right sequence, we avoid either/or scenarios. Whenever possible, it should be both/and. We don’t have to neglect or marginalize the older to reach the younger! We need the balance of elder wisdom and experience combined with youthful energy and innovation.

A church bus with multiple generations represents a more complete cross-section of the body of Christ. Those traveling on it have opportunity for an enriching, cross-cultural experience, as long as they make room for relationships outside their peer group.

No matter which direction your bus is heading, tough uphill challenges will surface. You will at times face an overheated engine and overheated passengers. Open your windows on both sides of the age spectrum and allow for a healthy cross breeze of the Spirit. Prop them wide open and make sure every generation is on your bus and is breathing fresh air. Gain some downhill momentum for those uphill climbs.

It shouldn’t take a Bible scholar to convince us that throwing grandparents under the church bus is not part of God’s plan.

But what about our changing culture and the need to create new buses for different kinds of patrons?

In these changing times, it’s not just the young needing to catch a vision for a new church bus or an overhaul of your old one. Older generations need new buses to replace worn-out, unbiblical attitudes toward retirement, ageism, and age segregation. They need to dream with you about completely new types of vehicles to help your church fulfill the Great Commission by reaching younger generations and other cultures.

Here are some tokens of advice as you shop for a new bus or overhaul your existing one:

• Keep Grandma and Grandpa on the bus and involve them in the change process. Quoting I.W. Lynett, “The best way to cope with change is to help create it."  Don’t assume that older generations are universally resistant to change. They have experienced and adapted to incredible changes throughout their lifetime. Welcome their input. If changes are biblically sound and God-directed, patiently cultivate and expect their support. Read Gordon MacDonald’s Who Stole My Church? for wonderful perspective on engaging your older generations in the change process.

• If your church has retreated from venues where intergenerational influence used to occur---Sunday school, Sunday night services, prayer times at an altar and midweek children’s programs---be sure you have created new venues that encourage strong intergenerational connections on a spiritual level. Teach your kids to respect, cherish, and learn from these older friends. Teach them the value of engaging in conversation with peers of their grandparents and great-grandparents. Create prayer partnerships. Have your young people help capture their spiritual legacy on video or through creative writing.

• Equip your older adults with fresh tools to help them communicate more frequently with their grandchildren. Teach them computer skills, email, text messaging, Facebook and even Web 2.0. Twitter? Well, let's not go too far!

• Invest in second half or senior adult leaders who have the energy and drive to move your adults to new paradigms of ministry. Don’t perpetuate social clubs or fun, food, and fellowship paradigms that fail to capitalize on their broader potential for outreach. Balance your budget. Investing fifty times more on children and youth than on second half adults is not a balanced budget.

• At your next board meeting, move the needs and potential of this fastest growing segment of our nation’s population to the front of your agenda. Talk about access for physically challenged adults, not just to “the service” but to valuable opportunities for serving and intergenerational influence.

• Stop endorsing methods that drop older generations off the church bus prematurely.

• Create new bus stops for both the old and young in your community to get on board. When you think about attracting new riders, resist the tendency to think only of young riders.

• Start thinking strategically from oldest-to-youngest rather than youngest-to-oldest. Change your vocabulary. Make sure no generation is left behind! 

We know it’s not about distancing ourselves, fighting over who deserves the best seats on the bus, or deciding which generation we can throw under the church bus. It’s about all of us drawing closer to God, one another, and the destinations He has mapped out for us.

Don’t do it just because millions of Boomers are entering their retirement years or because it’s your fast track to church growth.

Do it because it’s the right thing to do. Do it because God calls you to value every age group in your church, from the oldest to the youngest.

Do it because you really do love and value Grandma and Grandpa, their great-grandkids, and everyone in between.